——–Impact of Job Change—-

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said: “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”. The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my First day as a cab driver - I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years

A different love letter and a beautiful reply
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest yyyyyyy,Please answer the following
questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class
room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn’tcontrol seeing me
(c) really … Am I doing it?
**********
2)Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) youalways like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you areattracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class,
I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to singbefore me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I’ll likeyour song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when
I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don’t know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my
friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend’s because:
(a) youenjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won’t feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c)you don’t know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus anddidn’t get into your bus…
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreamingabout me and didn’t notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they cameto college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you
came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you likeroses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was
my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to prayalong with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c)you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********

If
you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don’t delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it’s
getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to
love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love ,
xxxxxxxxx

*********************

GIRL (yyyyyyyy)’s reply letter
was also in Q/A format ……..
xxxxxxxx ,Please answer the following Yes/Noquestionnaire.

**********
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b)No
**********
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of
the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b)No
**********
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my
childhood photo.You poked your nose inside….. Right ?
(a) Yes (b)No
**********
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn’t
you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********

6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali ) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b)No
**********
7) Shouldn’t I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana’s flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b)No
**********
9) Oh was that your birthday. That’s why I could see you
in temple. I come daily to Temple .. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b)No

If you have answered “Yes” to any of the question, then I am not loving you.
If you have answered “No”, then you don’t know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you .
**********

Life Without A Girl Friend–>
Advantages

1. You can stare at any Girl.
2. You don’t have to spend money on her.
3. You won’t get boring result in ur board papers.
4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.
5. If u don’t have a girlfriend, she can’t dump u.
6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.
7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.
8. You won’t have to tolerate someone else defining, “right” and ”wrong” for u.
9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can’t do anything according ur wishes anymore.
10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
11. You won’t have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.
12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.
13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.
14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, you’ll sin less.
15. You can have good night’s sleep-no need to dream about her.
16. You wont have to fight over having a ‘special’ friend with ur folks.
17. No non-stop nonsense.
18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
19. No tension.
20. You can be “yourself”
21. You won’t have to hide your telephone bills…..

SMART WOMEN

The Silent Treatment..

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM ‘

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.’

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contest1.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of yours?’

‘Yep,’ the wife replied , ‘in-laws”

WOMEN’S REVENGE..

‘Cash, cheque or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.

‘No,’ she replied, ‘ but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.’

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN’S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I’m not going to understand women.
I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider..

W O R D S.

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000.

The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’

CREATION.

A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain . . . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !!!

WHO DOES WHAT.

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, ‘You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.’

The husband said, ‘ You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’

Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’

Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says……….’HEBREWS’

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece..

Hi,

XYZ Office -> A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees were in the office (approx 5000). As usual the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & all employees gathered outside the office.

10 mins passed…………………………….5 more mins passed.

Security Officer -> Announcement starts,

“Dear Employees - With melting heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be the last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% of employees. So whose ever ID card does not work when moving back inside the building are laid off & all their belongings would be couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this approach as we don’t want to fill the email box size with layoff mails & also to avoid any fight inside the office”.

Hope you have nice career ahead.

Please move in & try your luck.